The Underground Man

The Underground Man

I honestly ‘enjoyed’ this game, but the question is whether I recommend it, which I really can’t. Not to anyone I can think of. I feel like I have to justify why I spent the better part of 6 hours finishing this game. Don’t speak Russian, but as far as I can understand this was a joke to see if it could get on Greenlight, which seems about right. I liked the music and general aesthetic, and I guess it’s nostalgic for me in a way I’m not entirely certain it was intended to be. The whole thing is vaguely reminescent of a computer game we would have played in the 80s or 90s because there was nothing else to do.

Real player with 5.6 hrs in game


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This is a spiritual successor to Takeshi’s Challenge on the NES, specifically designed to abuse, mock and waste the time of players for doing anything so lame as playing a videogame. The Underground Man is here to repeatedly kick you in the shins and call you a moron for liking the Fallout series.

This is a bad game. This is an intentionally bad game. This is also likely an unintentionally bad game. Do not pay any amount of money for this game unless you are seeking a unique masochistic challenge or like me are too stubborn and stupid to let a backlogged title outside of refund range lie. Maybe if you need to shoot a quirkier episode for your Let’s Play stream. I’d almost be down with this game for the weird humor, the actually decent simplistic graphics and music(got a real nice depressing post-apocalypse hum going for the walking sections) and an abusive deconstruction of a popular title. Unfortunately the parts where the developer hates you will draw blood constantly.

Real player with 4.7 hrs in game

The Underground Man on Steam

Bitardia

Bitardia

This game… it’s the gud stuff. I couldn’t reccomend it enough.

Pro’s:

Funny (for some)

Enjoyable with a story that lasts from just under an hour to more then that (depends on how much you die and lose money, forcing you to do side quests)

Somewhat large open world to explore and talk to some AI

Con’s:

All in Russian, minus the captions.

Slow updates (I believe it’s made by one guy after all)

Plenty of glitches (though they can sometimes be funny honestly)

I reccomend you should play it, at the very least to spend the last five dollars of your Steam gift card.

Real player with 14.7 hrs in game


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OMG! overNineHundred/10!

This game consists of a whole bunch of lulz! Slang, Gaben, a concrete mixer, drugs, despair, revolution, Snoop Dogg and 2D girls… Surprisingly, but I haven’t seen any bugs! It needs more quests, good optimization (long loadings really make me mad) to be better than GTA.

However, I think the game’s hardly interesting for people who knows neither Russian memes nor the culture of Russian imageboards.

Also you can get all achievements without any problems. And trading cards are expensive now.

Real player with 13.7 hrs in game

Bitardia on Steam

Gulman 4: Still alive

Gulman 4: Still alive

Imagine if the cool edgy main character who was kicking ass, like B.J Blazkowicz, Serious Sam Stone, DOOMGUY, Master Chief, or Duke Nukem was hit by some wizard out of nowhere and transformed into a horrible gay looking russian guy called Gulman who crashes on a jungle for no shit reason and whose mission was to get some stupid ass magic orbs which surprisingly you are in the right area to find them and to defeat some edgy antagonist throughout the whole game.

Why do I own this game, well here is the story how it all started……

Real player with 128.1 hrs in game


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Gulman 5 is 100x times better than this, this feels waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. Most of the levels look the same and it’s just like you’re spending countless hours in a very low quality and no budget russian eurojank purgatory, with the same background ambience sounds from beginning to end with no music.

It was NOT cool to not tell the player that he needs to shoot the glowy pillars to stop the big demon boss from regaining all his health (I spent ages killing him over and over until I realised those pillars even existed) and it was NOT cool to have a lava maze with eight statue slots but you actually just need seven statues to continue and you have to leave a certain spot free (I spent ages searching for the non existant 8th statue)

Real player with 11.2 hrs in game

Gulman 4: Still alive on Steam

b

b

b…

you are wrong to assume this is just a ‘good game’

the purity and essence of this is far superior than anything i have ever experienced in my entire life.

b can leave you completely clueless of the world, for one my entire family and wife have left me, but to that I say,

b.

you may find yourself jobless, without a home, but that corner internet cafe is capable of fulfilling your every single need. What need is that you may ask? Well, its

b.

your parents get concerned, they may not understand that your overall health isn’t of importance anymore, they won’t realise what this marvel of technology is to you and those who play it, so you simply have to ignore them, and find your way back to

Real player with 1.6 hrs in game

This experience was life-changing.

From the homefield where the game starts, the home of b. The fields green of hope for something to be out there, perhaps in this universe, you could meet another of your kind, maybe this, will fill the emptiness inside. You start by searching around the tall grass and flowers, no trace of life. You then make your way to the tall tree, you look around, still no luck… Perhaps, you could go elsewhere, somewhere beyond… You start to race for space, in your run, you encounter the JPEG moon, the most amazing thing about this grass field. Beyond that, you start to see space, maybe, just maybe someone is waiting for you in space… Perhaps on these meteors heading your way… No, still no luck… Maybe somewhere BEYOND, you start to race even farther, to something more… immense… something hotter… THE SUN… On your journey, you encounter spinning galaxies, luminous objects. Your mind starts to go wild, and you hear music, intense music. You know what you want and you are fixated on it, the farther you go, the more intense the music gets. After such a long time, you see it! The moon AND the sun! You go wild, you go full speed towards it, but little do you know, it’s much father away than you thought. The anxiety is killing you. “Will I find who I am looking for or not? Will I ever be capable of going back? When will I reach it? Oh God, should I go back?” All these questions and more, but you keep your head straight. You know what you want and you won’t let anything let you down! Half way there, you realize it. The music in your head, it gives you motivation, you listen on to the music again, it’s louder than ever, and better than ever! You take your courage and go even faster than before, you go so fast, you don’t even know if you’re moving or not anymore. Then you reach it, the moon. It’s so calm and cool here, the best destination for a b. Looking up at space, you see the sun, smiling upon you. Maybe, just maybe, that emptiness inside was just because you didn’t feel at home anymore, this is your new home, and you feel fantastic.

Real player with 0.9 hrs in game

b on Steam

Gulman 5

Gulman 5

uh good russia game yeah

Real player with 378.8 hrs in game

Gulman 5

Join gulman in his gulventure in this revolutionary shooter. Gulman must save the artifacts of the world as he kills terrorists and solves mind boggling puzzles. (example of hard puzzle: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/387533107344965633/569444681369518080/unknown.png )

The Artificial Intelligience is immensly smart, able to put up a fight against any player while their amazing voice acting will make you think its a real combat scenario. The intense fights should remind you of classic shooters such as Masked forces, Arma and Doom. The amazing graphics look like photos rather than a simple “video game” like the competitors.

Real player with 4.8 hrs in game

Gulman 5 on Steam

Disney•Pixar Cars

Disney•Pixar Cars

Great nostalgic game :)

Cars is open world and has a good number of races, minigames, and collectibles. Some of the more fun events - like chasing down the speeders - and some of the offroad races have high replayability.

It can take a while to find the location of all those stamps, and even then, getting to them is a whole other challenge. I remember for two of them you have to climb a huge mountain with its own share of difficulties and pick which stamp of the two to get. They both involve long jumps to reach them, and if you fall, you have to climb back up the mountain all over again.

Real player with 34.4 hrs in game

A great game that I enjoy. I remember playing this as a kid, and I was excited when I recently found out that it was available on Steam. This game has great races and mini-games. The controls can sometimes feel floaty and weird, but it is easy to get used to (I used a PS4 controller). The hub world, consisting of Radiator Springs, Ornament Valley, and Tailfin Pass, give you this sense of exploration. Not to mention you can hit npc cars in these hubs which can be very hilarious if you are doing this with someone watching you. You can choose a difficulty before starting Story Mode, which are Rookie, Pro, Champion, and another mode that is the most challenging that you need to unlock (I don’t know how to unlock it or the name of it). The cutscenes have original voice actors. You can also get bonus content like characters (note: unlocked characters can’t be used in Story Mode), paint jobs for characters, art, deleted cutscenes, and other videos, but you need to pay with points you receive in-game. The characters you unlock can only be used in Arcade and Multiplayer. Arcade is where you can choose a character and paint job and choose any mini-game or race that you have unlocked while playing in Story Mode. Multiplayer is basically just Arcade but with multiplayer. Multiplayer is split screen, and there is no online play. The only downfall is the sometimes floaty and weird controls that can take some getting used to and the difficulty that keeps on switching from easy to difficult, then back to easy and cycle repeats. Overall, it is a great game that anyone can enjoy, and I am more than happy to call it one of my favorite racing games.

Real player with 30.4 hrs in game

Disney•Pixar Cars on Steam

Putin VS Zombies

Putin VS Zombies

It is one of the best games I ever played. Some time is needed to get to know the controls but after that was figured out the game was super fun. As long as you don’t play around you can’t lose because all your abilities are overpowered and super fast ready. After you completed the game all levels reset and get harder. I’ve completed this game around times, it’s just super addicting. The Songs are awesome but a bit loud on my point.

Pros.: Funny Gameplay

Every Stage has its unique design

Real player with 0.7 hrs in game

An accurate representation of the current geopolitcal situation. I learned a lot. (Corey I absolutely despise you for buying me this)

Real player with 0.7 hrs in game

Putin VS Zombies on Steam

Shower With Your Dad Simulator 2015: Do You Still Shower With Your Dad

Shower With Your Dad Simulator 2015: Do You Still Shower With Your Dad

This year was my freshman year at college. I was in a new environment, without any friends, studying a degree that was created last year. The success of the degree itself is largely uncertain, but it’s what I’m passionate about, so that’s gotta count for something -right?

The first couple weeks of college were dull and uneventful. I would wake up, shower, have breakfast, leave for my lectures. Cruise through the day, learning and working well. When I got home I would type my notes, have some food, and then work on any assignments -if there were no assignments due, I would watch some TV or jam something on Steam.

Real player with 11762.2 hrs in game

One of the greatest games i’ve ever played in my life, My father was lost during the war so I never had the chance to shower with him. Now that i’m 22 years old i’ve always felt as if something was missing in my life. This game has filled the void.

Edit: For those who are unaware, my goal is to hit 10,000 hours within the game, because then, by Gladwell’s standards I have mastered showering with my Dad.

Edit: We have hit the 7,000 hours mark, only 3,000 hours left! I started this journey roughly 10 months ago and I must say that I am very greatful to all of the support from the showering community, i’ve received some very kind motivation from many people. This has honestly been a life changing experience for me and again thank you everyone for following me on this path to enlightenment

Real player with 10000.8 hrs in game

Shower With Your Dad Simulator 2015: Do You Still Shower With Your Dad on Steam

Mineirinho Director’s Cut

Mineirinho Director’s Cut

I have personally beaten the current GDQ speedrun. Through sweat and work this game is competitive and I think this game’s potential as a much bigger game could expand out as not just as DLC, but as a game. They should make a sequel or prequel for all that matter. Some say this game is a joke but if you put in the time you too can become great. If the developers put time into making and polishing another game I have some Ideas as for a sequel. This game in its masterpiece has become a great part of many’s lives. Now I haven’t been to Dom Zellitus But I can tell you for sure that they could expand in Mineirinho’s Adventures and can come up with some good Ideas.

Real player with 22.2 hrs in game

This game is a masterpiece. After 6.5 hours I’ve beat this game.

The games camera is astonishing. The way they made it follow your character without you having to control it is impressive. Another thing is the movement. I love it. This is a game of the future.

Also, this game is great for speedrunning. The techniques and the skill is crazy.

The game is easy to understand but hard to master. A perfect balance. New players will have a tough time going through level one but experienced players will go through it like a breeze.

Real player with 12.3 hrs in game

Mineirinho Director's Cut on Steam

GAI Stops Auto: Right Version Simulator

GAI Stops Auto: Right Version Simulator

This game has taken me on an adventure. When I first started it I was a boy, not realizing the essence of life. But with every minute of this game I matured. With every action I opened my eyes wider, until, after one hour, I saw the truth: You have to be your own master. People are not just gonna stop and wait for you. You gotta motion them aside. Your whistle-power and traffic-stick are all it takes. Make them crash on the snow map so they pile up endlessly. Time your “goodbye” perfectly to make them hit the convoy that you shall not interere with. And dont let some buff guys with very few clothing on them tell you otherwise. Just do it. And then, just then, maybe, one day, you’ll stop an alien in a checkered shirt who will ask you this one question: “Have a sex?”

Real player with 2.9 hrs in game

As someone who has been involved with the police on many occasions, I can confirm the accuracy of the situations portrayed in this game. The storyline is quite chilling and captures the intrigue of a ‘behind the scenes look at a Russian Police officer who has to pull over enough people to keep their career. It is both a sad and beautiful story set in Russia with an overwhelming majority of leather men who oftentimes just come out in herds from the woods. The creators did an excellent job portraying a country I have never been to and now I feel that I have.

Real player with 2.2 hrs in game

GAI Stops Auto: Right Version Simulator on Steam