Chair Simulator
This game has given me purpose in life. I sit down. I stand up. I sit down. I stand up. The simplicity, yet challenge in this task represents the dualism of the universe. The strain from standing up relieved from the bliss that is sitting down. From the short 75 minutes I spent on this game before writing the review has morphed my entire outlook on life. I have learned the pain of death, the stress of pain, and the stresslessness of sitting. I sit and think. Think about the meaning of life. Think about my purpose here on this earth. And I have received enlightenment. I am the chair. I sit here with my arms on its doing exactly what it’s doing. I am becoming a vessel for the universe to pass through and maybe sit, gifting me with knowledge. I was lost before finding this game. Mindlessly going through the factory of life without much thought, this game has opened my eyes to the possibilities of this world that are sitting right in front of us. Overall, this game has been an eye opening experience that I would recommend everyone should try.
– Real player with 24.7 hrs in game
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! You came. You sat. You conquered!
You’ve warmed countless seats, leaving a deep and indelible impression on each and every one!
Well done, sitlord.
! But…
! Sitting has changed you.
! You look down, now, at these limbs, at all this sinew and flesh. It seems so excessive, doesn’t it? Limbs, flaying. Appendages. Poorly-designed. A bit old-fashioned. Outdated? The real you has been trapped here, hasn’t it? Here, in this prison made of flesh.
It’s a thought you’ve entertained before, isn’t it? Privately. In dreams.
– Real player with 3.7 hrs in game
I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator
This game, in a mere 100 hours, has taken everything from me…
I have sacrificed everything I know and love, just to look at that colonel smile.
My wife left me with full custody of the kids. My parents no longer talk to me. Im a mere month away from being
Evicted by my landlord. Ive stopped working, just to play this game. This game has ruined my life, but still, I love it. That sweet sweet colonel. The story is Immersive, and a roller coaster of emotions to play through. Ever since helen left me, this has been the one thing that I still find love in. This game shields me from the cold that is this planet. More importantly, the colonel protects me from the world. The sweet colonel. I never needed helen. All I need is right here, flexing his big muscles, making his next exquisite dish, and being the man I always craved.
– Real player with 256.6 hrs in game
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With stage 5 terminal cancer, the doctors told me it couldn’t be cured. I seen this game come up on my recommended list. I thought to myself “With only hours left to live, I might as well spend my time doing something I enjoy” Starting the game I was filled with immediate joy. The characters were absolutely lovable. The story line has the depth that can only be rivalled by very few AAA titles out there. Every click left me guessing “What’s going to happen next?” and “Will I get to try another one of the Colonels chicken wings of pure ecstasy?” Before I knew it, I was in the kitchen, cooking with the Colonel, helping him create Nan’s potato and gravy. It was absolute bliss!
– Real player with 10.8 hrs in game
Ukrainian ball in search of gas
Ukrainian ball in search of gas is fascinating tale of confidence, faith and discovery, this fully open world, adventure, indie, simulation has you following the protagonist around a gorgeous world in search of the precious fossil fuel, gas.
Before we go any further, this review will contain small spoilers, I am just breaking down the main story and gameplay, so this really shouldn’t impact any of your gameplay of this astounding game. Also the you may have already read the “About This Game” section, this was clearly written before the famous 1.7.3 update, as since then they had to change the story a bit as the main investors were not massive fans. I think it got changed for the better, this new story was and is a lot better than the previous, I have played both and I will be going through the newer version today.
– Real player with 6207.4 hrs in game
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This game is the most emotional and graphic game that has ever been created, it has such amazing graphics that no one has ever been able to play on the ultra-quality, which happens to be better than the real worlds looks. In about 20 years time this game will still be the most graphical game ever. Not only that but the gameplay is truly inspiring and emotional I have already cried so much I have run out of tears. This game has also inspired me to become the best I can be and has finally made me find my purpose in life. This game has changed me for the better and can change you too if you let it. This game is also has endless story so you will never run out of anything to do in this game. You also get to go on an amazing back story through his evolution and how he became a ball, and was abandoned by his wife, daughter, friends and other family. You also get to go on an amazing quest to find your daughter later to save her from the Ukrainian government who is trying to change her into a ball as well, you will get to fight your way through them for hours to try to save your daughter from the same fate. There is also amazing side quests where you get to help the civilians of Ukraine whose lives have been ruined by the government. Apart from the story and graphics this game also had amazing controls, there so simple yet so complicated, they are the perfect type of controls you could ever want. You get all of this in the game for the small price of $1.50, for everything you get in the game that is probably the most amazing deal in existence, you wont ever run into a better deal than that, wow. This game has also made me realize that I needed to improve my life. Before this game I was a heavy drinker and took drugs constantly, I would have probably died before the month finished. But god came down to me and bestowed me upon this amazing game, I bought it and I now couldn’t ask for a better life. I have a beautiful wife and two baby girls. I have an amazing house and now earn over $200, 000 a year, I also haven’t touched any of that stuff since I got the game. This is the best game in existence. Spoiler you can have sex in this game, very detailed.
– Real player with 207.3 hrs in game
Hentai no Hero
Aight so i went on a spree of buying games under $1 and my god this is the worst one by far it’s like it’s got no soul its been on early accses for what 2 years now and what barely a thing it feels like just saying i was just dissapointed
– Real player with 1.1 hrs in game
Pretty nice so far.
A little more content would be nice and it would be also nice to know, when you reached the end of the game or level or anything. Or something like: “Final Boss!”. ;)
– Real player with 1.1 hrs in game
Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania
Completing the master course challenges took years off my life.
Completing the monkey golf challenges took even more years off my life.
10/10 would throw controller again.
– Real player with 65.0 hrs in game
Everything about this game makes it the perfect remake except for a few things such as the physics, not great UI, and some lackluster production value here and there. Those are, however, only slight negatives in the grand view of things as playing this game is a blast and there’s enough fun and exciting content here to last many hours.
– Real player with 35.2 hrs in game
Muse Dash
This is a temporary WARNING review as the game is currently unplayable for many users. The last update introduced many bugs which make the game literary unplayable for many players and unpleasant to play for others. It came out on Friday and there was no fix nor any sort of communication from the devs since. The least they could do is to rollback to a previous version and at least apologize, but there is nothing.
The biggest issue being that you can’t play ANY levels, you just get stuck on purple screen with music in the background while no inputs register, you must force close the game to get out.
– Real player with 289.2 hrs in game
Great introduction to rhythm games, easy to start with but there’s a lot of challenge as well. Basically, just tap the keys to smash the enemies to the rhythm of the song.
At the base price, this game is a steal. If you like the basegame, get the DLC, you won’t be disappointed.
I definitely recommend unless the weeabooish graphics and music are totally not your thing. Personally I think the songs are mostly bangers and the girls are cute. And Rin is the best girl.
– Real player with 173.6 hrs in game