Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist
This is a terribly broken game; I was stuck at the loading screen for almost five minutes despite having a very powerful computer.
I selected the “No Lasers” mode difficulty, and what do I get? Lasers. I was stuck there for hours trying to get past the rediculous challenge. It’s not even a joke difficulty; the game has a “Lasers” difficutly.
The tiger chased me past where I could clearly tell the chase was over. The funny thing is: Strange NPCs popped up and started dealing with it. Honestly, I could have sworn I had heard them scrambling around before the chase started. I don’t get it!
– Real player with 5.3 hrs in game
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I’d write a review, but someone is already doing it, seems like I’ll have to wait… Should I?
Dr. Langeskov, The Tiger, and The Terribly Cursed Emerald: A Whirlwind Heist, which I’ll refer as simply Dr. Langeskov, is an adventure game also labeled as a walking simulator, along the lines of games like The Stanley Parable. It’s a really short game if you’re just focused on finishing it. It may take 15 minutes to 45 depending on how much you look around.
“You can’t, you can’t, you can’t… You can’t play it."
– Real player with 3.9 hrs in game
Only If
I could make several jokes about this game’s name, but I won’t. I will start this review off instead by getting to the heart of the matter. If you want my opinion in a single sentence, here it is: Only If is one of the worst games I have ever played. If you want it in multiple sentences, by all means, keep reading.
Let me clarify that I have played some great walking simulator games. I like the genre when it is done well. It can be difficult to find good ones, but when they shine, they really shine. There are some people who argue that they aren’t video games. I don’t agree, yet that’s neither here nor there. The point is that I am not biased against Only If because of its genre. It is also called a horror game, but the only thing horrifying about it is how bad it is, so I’m not counting that. I guess the “tense atmosphere” is why it’s labeled as a horror game, but in my eyes, it doesn’t qualify as horror.
– Real player with 7.4 hrs in game
Read More: Best First-Person Adventure Games.
CAUTION! If You found some words or lines on this review seems too odd, it’s because I am experiencing headaches while writing this review. So please kindly correct me in comment section. :)
Let’s go straight to good and bad comparison of this game.
PROS
1. It has great thrilling-story in surreal theme. Maybe could be heavy for casual gamers, but it also means the plot has weight and philosopical value/mistery to discuss.
2. Graphics are truly amazing.
It brought many details and shader quality to a compact eye-gasm experience. Also features simple furnitures and stuff but with good drawing.
– Real player with 7.0 hrs in game
Bean
Bee movie script
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bean should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bean, of course, flies anyway because beans don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished beans, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bean, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bean existence. These beans are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bean jobs are small ones. But beans know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that beans, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re beans. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bean enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bean, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bean died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bean, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really?
– Real player with 1.0 hrs in game
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It is quite possibly the most ground breaking game I’ve ever played. Never did I think the plot would take those turns, NEVER did I think the developer was brave enough to do what he did. BUT HE DID. Words cannot truly express how lucky I have been to stumble upon a masterpiece of this caliber. WOW! If you haven’t played this yet, what are you doing with your life? This game right here, Bean, is enough of a reason to buy a gaming pc. Yes, it is. I have an unbridled passion for this game, as will you after you’ve played the game.
– Real player with 0.9 hrs in game
Dark Deception
Simple Review Portion:
===[ ❤ Audience: ]===
☐ Kids
☑ Everyone
☑ Casual players
☑ Pro players
===[ ☼ Graphics: ]===
☐ Potato
☐ Really bad
☐ Bad
☐ OK
☑ Good
☐ Beautiful
☐ Masterpiece
===[ $ Price/quality: ]===
☑ It’s free
☑ Full price
☐ Wait for sale
☐ Average
☐ Refund it if you can
☐ Don’t do it
===[ ☣ Requirments: ]===
☐ 90' PC
☐ Minimum
☑ Medium
☑ Fast
☐ High end
☐ NASA computer
===[ ☼ Difficulty: ]===
☐ You just need 2 arms
☐ Ez
☑ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Hard (first few hours)
– Real player with 69.9 hrs in game
I love this game. I saw Markiplier and Dashiegames play this and I was interested. I got the demo (aka Ch.1) and did it 100% and I enjoyed finding the secrets and trying to get an S rank on it. So I bought the complete edition so I can have all the Chapters. I love what they are doing with the game and I hope when it is done it is loved by many. I hope that Glowstick Entertainment takes more time with future chapters since Ch.3 had some bugs with Crazy Carnevil. It was fun. I love how they fixed it and added a new roller coaster hazard. Same for Ch.4 the chapter was very fun and lore heavy. While it did release with crashes and bugs the game is now playable and enjoyable. They even made changes to earlier levels to make them better, easier, or even harder. I highly recommend this game. Just keep your cool on Stranger Sewers and know when to use your powers as each level is gonna get harder. Don’t forget to use them all so you can survive. After learning more about the development of this game I see it had a rough start but has a good future ahead of it. A multiplayer game that updates sometime after this game gets a chapter released with DLC from known horror titles and even creators who play this game a lot. Not to mention their merch, a book series planned, 2 more sequels, and more !
– Real player with 39.8 hrs in game
North Stars
10/10 would CONE AGAIN! Great game could do with less bugs and more CONES. I am a verified AARP Gamer and over here in AARP town we like CONES and SLIDERS. More music would do good for this game. Slightly more detail and distinguishing sprites would make the game less chaotic.
-AARP VERIFIED GAMER
– Real player with 7.8 hrs in game
I don’t even remember how I found this. All I know is I’ve gotten hooked on it even though the game is strangely translated as it seems it was originally in Chinese which is understandable. The game makes up for not being very coherent for legitimately fun gameplay. I’ve never even played multiplayer, only with bots. It’s so fun. I main Epsilon and can just do so much. There are many classes with many abilities that you will find will fit your playstyle without a doubt. From flying around, being sneaky, or being an unstoppable tank, this game has it has along with a chill soundtrack and immersive gameplay and a unique style. Loved this game, 10/10
– Real player with 1.9 hrs in game
The Way of Life Free Edition
This game sounds like an amazing idea. And you’d be right. The idea itself is amazing. However, I feel it was executed very poorly. I’ve played many exploration games in the past, most of which still stay with me to this day. This game doesn’t.
You want to add in platforming? Fine, but don’t make it annoying. You want to add in a collectathon into one of the levels? Fine, but don’t make me have to find so many pieces of an object. Do you want to add in…A FREAKING QUICK TIME EVENT INTO YOUR ‘EXPLORATION’ GAME? FINE, but don’t make it Dark Souls difficulty.
– Real player with 4.2 hrs in game
The Way Of Life is a free to play, first person, indie game currently in early access as I’m writing this review. It is an instanced adventure game where you play as 3 characters: a child, a business man and an elderly gentleman. Today I decided to give the game a shot in its current state and I have to say, even with the small amount of playable content available, I feel it has a really interesting story to tell.
The first thing to remember is that this game is completely free. The developers aren’t forcing potential players to pay any money for the game although they do mention a few times that if you’re interested in helping to crowdfund the final product, you can do so here: https://www.eppela.com/projects/5016-the-way-of-life?locale=en
– Real player with 1.1 hrs in game
Apex Legends™
You open the game and finish your 3000 word essay that’s due tomorrow while it loads you into the main menu. You pray they fed the server hamsters today as you queue for a game. You pick Octane cause you like running around fast, not cause he’s on drugs. Your teammates pick Caustic and Wraith. It’s another TTV Wraith. The champion squad is a pred and 2 master players. The game begins and your caustic spends all game on his own trapping buildings, while you run around juiced up looking for loot and killing anyone in your way. You get jumped by a squad because footstep audio doesn’t exist and you couldn’t hear them coming. TTV Wraith goes down. You clutch a 1v3 because mastiff is balanced. Meanwhile, your Caustic is setting up traps outside the zone. You collect your Wraith’s banner and try to respawn them but they leave with 0.2s left on the timer. You’re in awe that this one stayed that long. Someone sees you next to the respawn beacon and kills you. They then immediately get 3rd partied while a far off 4th squad member misses all his kraber shots on them. The predator player shows up out of nowhere and wipes everyone in one sweep, dropping another 4k 20 bomb in the process. Your caustic dies to zone. You’re back in the main menu and a random level 500 is waiting there for you in your party. They complain about not having heirlooms despite playing since season 1 but the dude that started last week has 2. You queue for another game. You get disconnected because two server hamsters passed out from hunger. Code: leaf. You wait to load back into the main menu and queue once more, cause you know it’s worth going through it all again just to take another glance at Loba’s thick ass.
– Real player with 1455.4 hrs in game
Easily one of the best games ruined by bad management and run by a very greedy, short sighted publisher.
Pros:
-
Excellent Movement.
-
Satisfying gun play. Huge variety of guns of all types - Shotguns, SMGs, Pistols, Snipers, ARs. And they all are very good.
-
Map sizes are excellent, not too big and empty and not too small either. Games are quick and no down time in the middle portion.
-
New legends and weapons added every season.
-
Maps are changed/updated every season keeping things fresh.
-
Seasons are 3 months long offering plenty of time to complete battle pass.
– Real player with 1270.7 hrs in game
Gravitas
- DIFFICULTY -
🔲 My 90 year old grandma could play it
🔲 Easy
☑️ Normal
🔲 Hard
🔲 “Dark Souls”
- GRAPHICS -
🔲 “MS Paint”
🔲 Bad
🔲 Meh
🔲 Graphics don’t matter in this game
🔲 Good
☑️ Beautiful
🔲 Masterpiece
- MUSIC -
🔲 Bad
🔲 Not special
☑️ Good
🔲 Beautiful
- STORY -
🔲 This game has no story
🔲 Like playing “Temple Runners” for the story
🔲 It’s there for the people who want it
☑️ Well written
🔲 Epic story
- PRICE -
☑️ Free
🔲 Underpriced
🔲 Perfect price
🔲 Could be cheaper
🔲 Overpriced
– Real player with 20.2 hrs in game
A short but fun Portal-esque puzzle game which is easy to 100%.
While the game is very short, it’s also a lot of fun. If you’re familiar with the excursion funnels and cubes in Portal 2, this game is essentially using those mechanics as it’s main selling point. I quite enjoyed the dialogue, it actually once again reminded me of Portal 2 in that the main antagonist is strikingly similar to Stephen Merchant’s Wheatley.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1854560382
Again, this is all subjective to the player but I got strong vibes of Portal with this little gem of a game.
– Real player with 7.0 hrs in game
Grimm 1865
The game delivers exactly what it says it will. It’s a short, 5-10 min. long indie game that’s also free, so you have nothing to lose if you’re willing to play. The mechanics are very simple and straightforward. The game itself has decent pacing with roughly 3 mins. of exploring and 5 mins. of boss fighting, depending on how long it takes you to finish. Overall, the developers did a great job making this as a school project. I’d love to see what they add to the game if it ever receives any updates.
– Real player with 0.8 hrs in game
It is literally 6 minutes long and 5 of those minutes are on a tedious boss fight unable to skip cut scenes, no story. oh and the game is not horror just bc you slap a ghost in the game and the ghost is a naked blue dude with no scary elements but he floats… The only sorta decent thing was the black and white at the start of the “game.”
– Real player with 0.5 hrs in game
HEAT REBORN
Simply put, Heat Reborn is just an upgraded version of Heat Project. There are very few maps and guns. Since the end of May, the game has not released any updates.
This game is very unfriendly to new players who just joined, because “level” will determine the guns and items you can buy, which is very unfair for low-level players, and there is no class split system. High-level players compete with low-level players. The gap between the skills and gun levels of the two sides is too large, and it is very difficult to win…..
– Real player with 178.1 hrs in game
Recommend to Asian players only.
-
Nostalgia is the main selling point.
-
Community can be toxic and not friendly to foreigners sometimes.
-
Lower rank players usually get punished due to insufficient firepower.
-
Only Hong Kong and Taiwan servers are available at this moment.
-
Nearly all players are Chinese speakers.
– Real player with 107.9 hrs in game