Deported: Drain the Swamp

Deported: Drain the Swamp

It’s difficult for me to write an unbiased review, any games from Crankage Games are worth it just for the dialogues alone. Heck I’d play this just to read the cutscenes' lines. If you’ve played anything from Crankage Games before, you know what to expect. If you haven’t, what are you waiting for? They’re fun and they’re cheap.

This one is an arcade, old school gameplay. If you like a fun game without pretensions, just something fast and fun to play, give Deported a shot.

Real player with 3.4 hrs in game


Read More: Best Comedy Linear Games.


Today on my way home from work i stopped into a petrol station and snagged myself a chocolate bar for £1.15. I ate it in the car in just under 4 minutes, i enjoyed it. It probably did not do me any good but in the long term it wont have done me any harm.

When i got home i snagged a copy of Deported: Drain the swamp for 79p, i finished it in about half an hour. much better value than chocolate, and it was funny so it might of helped shed the choclate from my belly due to the light exercise of laughing.

Real player with 2.9 hrs in game

Deported: Drain the Swamp on Steam

Kiss/OFF

Kiss/OFF

The Xargazorg Collective proudly presents Kiss/OFF, the hottest dating show in the galaxy! The contestants have exactly three days to pair off and SQUARE OFF in a dating royale! Whichever couple has the most passionate, magical kiss at the end of the contest wins the Ultimate Prize: Freedom! The losing team? They get yeeted right into the sun. :)

♥ MEET VIC ♥

Play as Vic Powers, your everyday college track star who is cool and chill and very bi. When he gets abducted onto the set of Kiss/OFF, he suddenly has a lot more to worry about than declaring his major. Now, he’s got to kiss a hottie, win the dating game, and find some way back to Earth!

♥ DATE OR HATE?! ♥

Unlock totally different endings based on whether or not your Kiss/OFF partner LOVES or HATES Vic. Go for true romance, or try to drive your partner crazy—but always remember that actions can have big, big consequences.

♥ MEET HOT ALIEN SINGLES IN YOUR AREA ♥

Space Hero Kel, Robo-Risq, and Desert Wanderer Arturo are just a few of the contestants who have been Involuntarily Volunteered™ to take part in the galaxy’s hottest gameshow! Match-up with everybody onboard and learn their secrets!

♥ EVERYBODY GETS TO DATE! ♥

Whoever you DON’T pick as your partner will team up and compete against you. Get the chance to see how the other characters get along when you’re not in the room.

♥ ALWAYS ANOTHER EPISODE… ♥

Finish one episode, and immediately start binging another! THRILL as you discover that literally everything is different on the second playthrough! GASP as you slowly reveal more secrets of The Ship! GRUNT as you consider the possibility that Interstellar (2014) although a critical darling, was perhaps a tad overrated at the time!

♥ MYSTERIES AND TWIST…ERIES ♥

Unravel the riddle of The Ship, the alien audience, and your alien host with the alien most: Xargazorg. Every playthrough and every route gets you one step closer to escape!

♥ FURTHER FUNTASTICAL FEATURES ♥

150,000+ Words!

20 Unique Endings! (With Achievements! Bing!)

A fully-original soundtrack with over 15 sick beats!

6 hours of unique story content!

1 super-secret true ending!

1 very hot girl who is part robot but also super mean and basically evil!


Read More: Best Comedy Choose Your Own Adventure Games.


Kiss/OFF on Steam

PooSky

PooSky

2€. Enough for rating it down.

This game should be supposed to be a satyrical thing but there’s nothing to laugh about.

Graphics are simply terrible, drawn in Paint back in the ’90s. Music and sounds are annoying.

And the game is simply nothing. You get only one info in the “tutorial”: click to jump. Stop.

I really haven’t found anything to laugh about in this game. It’s full of asses and shit, ok, at 30 years old I’m supposed to laugh at a badly drawn Paint strip?

The game itself as I was saying is basically nothing. A platformer in which you click to jump and to avoid the shit on the floor.

Real player with 12.4 hrs in game

After dedicating an hour of my finite life to this game, I can assuredly say, it is bad.

While it is a vain attempt at commentary of the games industry, this single-buttoned game falls short of this.

I do know believe whoever made this deserves not only minimum wage, but to forever have pins-and-needles of the lower extremities, for their iced drinks to always warm too fast, and for their souls to burn in an eternal hellfire.

Also it looks like he has a penis when you jump.

Real player with 1.1 hrs in game

PooSky on Steam

Inbound UFO

Inbound UFO

This game is brilliant! Many cool new things that made me spend a lot of time ingame. I usually don’t write reviews but as a tower defense fan and not finding enough reviews on this one, I had to say that it really brings some novelty on the genre (I had to re-think all my strategies learned in other TDs).

I like how the enemy is fighting with me, they struggle to bring my towers down :D, very nice animations and there is something interesting and addictive with the AI that I can’t pinpoint exactly.

Real player with 63.4 hrs in game

Game sucks…..

Real player with 30.0 hrs in game

Inbound UFO on Steam

Plan B from Outer Space: A Bavarian Odyssey

Plan B from Outer Space: A Bavarian Odyssey

A funny, replayable and “Zork-esque” Choose-Your-Own-Adventure game that compensate the shortness of a single run by offering lots of different choices that lead to extremely diverging paths and endings.

Real player with 2.5 hrs in game

forgot to cover my space ship, created new beach front property, 10/10 would do it again.

Real player with 1.6 hrs in game

Plan B from Outer Space: A Bavarian Odyssey on Steam

Vagabond Starship

Vagabond Starship

The crew of the starship Spearhead have been heading back to Artovya to deliver a unicorn to the king. After a harrowing battle with space pirates, their rutabaga supply is running dangerously low, and they need to find more if they’re ever going to make it home.

Sir Typhil of Creulor and his fearless crew of elves, dwarves, aliens, and robots set out on a search across various unknown worlds, meeting zealots, rogues, reporters, and more as they seek out the ever-elusive rutabaga.

  • A riveting space adventure in which you choose your landing party. With 5 crew members to choose from, your decision changes your experience at each location and the puzzle solutions there

  • Freely travel between three distinct alien planets

  • Traditional adventure game puzzles as well other more unique types of puzzles

  • Fully voiced by professional (and awesome) voice actors

  • 3rd person point and click gameplay

  • Retro arcade sections for the action elements

While a stand-alone game in its own right, this game continues the over-arching story from the previous four games in the series:

https://store.steampowered.com/app/813250/Unicorn_Dungeon/

https://store.steampowered.com/app/912500/Poltergeist_Treasure/

https://store.steampowered.com/app/966730/Leprechaun_Shadow/

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1349640/Alien_Function/

Vagabond Starship on Steam

Duke Nukem Forever

Duke Nukem Forever

Duke Nukem Forever. 15 years in the making and yet here I am, considering if it couldn’t have used a couple of more years in development. The truth is though, 5-10-15-20 years it wouldn’t have mattered. The problem here isn’t lack of development, it’s the direction of the development.

All the fluff is there though. Playing this game you will never doubt that this is a Duke game. Scantily clad women are everywhere and you will rarely walk more than ten feet between the various pop culture references, jokes and other nonsense. If anything Gearbox deserves some credit for getting that part of the franchise right. The humor is there, the silliness, the crazy. What they got wrong, is the mechanics.

Real player with 162.3 hrs in game

It’s normal to have high expectations on a game that’s been in development for more than 10 years, but to judge it it’s important to know a little of its development history to understand why they took so long to finish it.

It was remade from scratch many times because of the engine or graphics being outdated, they wanted it to be perfect, or at least as groundbreaking as the original Duke Nukem 3D was at its time. Due to this fact, many of the original ideas planned for the game didn’t make it to the final product as can be seen in its many trailers.

Real player with 57.0 hrs in game

Duke Nukem Forever on Steam

Serious Sam 3: BFE

Serious Sam 3: BFE

I think this game is very good. I know that he has returned to an old coat as Serious Sam First Encounter and Second Encounter. Serious Sam 2 game was a noob game I am glad that Serious Sam 3 is again similar to the first part. But let’s say straight errors, bugs, problems.

Errors,Bugs and Problems

1. Death Canyon on the map after spawn will you run to scrapjack use mutilator for him he pulls you and if it just so you will spawn spider flies a few feet into the air and you lose a lot of hp or you will die

Real player with 4011.8 hrs in game

“Over? Oh it’s not over until I teabag every last one of you alien mother f***ers” - Sam ‘Serious’ Stone, Serious Sam 3

THE GOOD

The Serious Sam series has always been an antidote to the shooters which may or may not have a player character who kills off people who are different to them because they look different, sound different and speak different languages, in where you have a whole lot of aliens trying to trample and shoot you from all sides, just like the 4:17pm on December 24th. There weren’t any key card quests, no escort missions, and no real story which was involing in any way. The gameplay may turn off hardcore Serious Sam fans for the first few levels. Few enemies will attack you systematically while you kill them off in a straight line. After you reach the Shpynx however, it starts to hit the fans and the aliens who outnumber the amount of Steam gamers with light wallets will charge and generally blow you to pieces. Just like the good old days.

Real player with 99.4 hrs in game

Serious Sam 3: BFE on Steam

The Zone

The Zone

Dont buy this game. Its a bug filled mess.

Real player with 1.1 hrs in game

The Zone on Steam

Attack of the Earthlings

Attack of the Earthlings

In Attack Of The Earthlings you embrace the opportunity of playing the oppressed alien natives simply protecting your home planet from the ruthlessly ignorant human invaders, as you claw, stab, pulp, and pulverise your way up the corporate ladder of the Galactoil company and put a halt to their invasion.

Integral to this game is it’s sense of humour, akin to Borderlands and Portal in the video game world, and Office Space and Mars Attacks in the film world, with Galactoil (the corporate representation of space-faring humanity) as a pseudo-functioning corporate hegemony operating with a casual disregard for employees coupled with an ironic motivational propaganda machine in a modern office-space environment. There are so many little touches incorporated into the level design alone that really imbue this humour and help world and character-build in what could otherwise be seen as a very short and superficial game. This humour is also more obviously threaded through the hapless characters and their dialogue and interactions with each other and the AI/robots throughout, which as you play gradually reveals more of the antagonist’s motives and frustrations as you pick them apart and upset their plans (or just overhear comedic character monologues and watch as robots respond benignly to your presence).

Real player with 14.9 hrs in game

So what can i say about Attack of the Earthlings really? Well let me start off by saying this game has a ton of personality and it will make you laugh at times. If you’re a Sci fi fan like me, you’ve probably tried one of those classic sci fi horror/action games where you’re playing as an astronaut on a space station trying to avoid getting eaten by some alien scum. Well in this fun and exciting strategy game it’s pretty much the exact same type of scenario but you’re playing as the aliens. There’s not really much of a story to this game. Basically a massive company and it’s rich owner has decided to mine your planet for resources cause why the fuck not? And you, the leader of the alien race doesn’t exactly allow outsiders inside your territory. So you do the most rational thing and start assassinating the average joe workers of this massive company, then use their biomass to produce an army of lower lifeforms under your command to assassinate even more humans! :D You can create 4 different unit types and they’re all totally unique creations with special abilities that fit different playstyles. In the beginning i thought i had to use all 3 different evolutions (Out of the 4 creatures you can spawn 1 of them is the default non-evolved alien drone) but it turned out that you should really only stick to the xenos that suit your personal playstyle. I didn’t hear about this game from some big youtuber, or anything. I just happended to get it recommended by Steam one day and thought ‘‘hey that’s a neat concept and it’s on sale!’’ There’s also a small progression system in the game that allows you to upgrade your units and give them new and improved abilities. The game takes about 11-12 hours to finish if you’re just doing a casual playthrough and you fail a few missions (Like i did) Each mission is really fun cause no mission has the same objective. There’s no difficulty options in the game, and there’s unfortunately no new game+… This is the bad part of the game, you see you can’t replay levels unless you have an old save file right before the level you want to play. If you don’t then you need to replay the level until you get to the level you want to replay. However there is only about 7-8 levels in total so it’s not like getting to a specific level is hard. Each level feels new and unique due to each level having it’s own objectives that are all totally different from one another. Overall i’d give Attack of the Earthlings a solid 7/10. Would recommend, even at full price if you’re into strategy games and don’t mind the low difficulty. Now go out there and nom some humans :3

Real player with 13.9 hrs in game

Attack of the Earthlings on Steam