Wild Animal Racing
One day while I was home alone sitting at my computer browsing the steam store for another hentai puzzle game to play I saw this absolute work of art known as “Wild Animal Racing”, upon laying eyes on it I was instantly taken aback by its next-generation graphics and absolutely phenomenal soundtrack that I knew I had to buy it. After downloading the game and playing it for a while, I realized that the driving mechanics rival the likes of Forza, Assetto Corsa, and Mario Kart just to name a few. Along with the extremely diverse lineup of characters ranging from a giraffe that bleats to a hippo that moos, it also brought a tear to my eye with how surprisingly in-depth the story is, it tells the juicy and lore filled tale of Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) the purple hippo struggling with his gender identity [Source] and a racing addiction searching the lands far and wide for the answer to what he truly wishes to be, when one day Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) was out roaming the streets of Zig-Zag-Zog in his new race car when a giraffe by the name of Ginger approaches him and tells him that he can give him anything he wants and more so long as he beats him in a race. After some thought, Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) takes Ginger up on the offer and is quoted as saying “I’m the best racer there is, beating you will be a breeze!” and so Ginger laughs and says “Alright, meet me on the coastal island at 3:00PM and we’ll see how good of a racer you really are.” When the next day rolls around Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) meets Ginger at the coastal island to race, telling him that he will regret the day he dared to challenge him. When the race countdown ends and the cars takeoff Ginger starts by taking the lead with Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) just barely trailing behind. Worried he will lose and be unable to obtain the answers he so desperately seeks he pleads with the Gods themselves to help him win this race, and so like a miracle sent down from the heavens a floating “?” appears on the track right in front of Hugo(Formerly Henrietta), wondering what it is Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) bracing for impact tries running into it to see what becomes of the mysterious object, and to Hugo(Formerly Henrietta)’s surprise a button with a symbol resembling a rocket appears on his center console. Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) curiously presses it to see what the odd button did and to Hugo(Formerly Henrietta)’s surprise a Firework Rocket shot out the front of his car striking Ginger’s car in one of its back wheels causing it to spin out of control allowing Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) to take the lead. After recovering from the mysterious spin-out Ginger attempts to speed up and catch Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) before he can finish the race, but to no avail. Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) had already finished the race beating Ginger and gaining himself “anything he wants and more.” After the race Ginger approaches Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) and says, “While that spin out was rather peculiar, I am a man of honor so I will grant you what you seek.” following up with “But first, I’d like to invite you on a journey across the world so that you can race to your heart’s content.” Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) without hesitation agrees to join Ginger on the so-called “journey across the world” to see where it might take him. Their first stop is Giza, Egypt, racing around the Pyramid of Djoser. After winning the race Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) who came in first, says to Ginger, who once again came in second behind Hugo(Formerly Henrietta), “That was so much fun I’m glad I decided to go on this ‘journey across the world’. Where is our next stop?” Ginger, after some thinking, replies “We’ll race in Paris, then off to Holland!” Hugo(Formerly Henrietta), is excited for this next step in the journey and says “Let’s do it!” After arriving in Paris and going to the race they realize that they will also be racing against a lion, a zebra, and a rhino. Of course, this will be no trouble at all for Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) and Ginger, two of the greatest wild animal racers of all time. When the race ends Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) and Ginger once again win the race with Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) coming in first with Ginger just behind him in second. After they finish the race in pairs they immediately move on to the next and last step in the journey, Holland. Once again when they arrive at the track in Holland they see the lion, zebra, and rhino that they had met just before the previous race and are immediately overcome with joy knowing the race wouldn’t be a problem. So once again they win the race with Hugo(Formerly Henrietta) coming in first and Ginger just behind in second, solidifying their place as the world’s greatest racists.
– Real player with 51.7 hrs in game
Read More: Best Cold War Action Games.
hippo go 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:)
– Real player with 6.8 hrs in game
Save Jesus
4k graphics, blown away by the sound quality, the voice acting is superb. personally, one of my favorite quotes is “ya think yu can stop me? look it, ah gawt a tahme macheen!” very intricate and thought-out dialogue is one of this game’s strongest points. in addition, the plot and lore of save jesus is so complex and designed so well that its almost like you are actually there in the game saving jesus! it is an experience similar to that of smoking weed, while dying and going to heaven but learning that jesus is in trouble so you save him and then wake up wondering… “what did i eat for dinner last night?” you look over to jesus in your bed and he stares back at you and then you wake up again to find that your entire existence was actually a dream in itself. anyway, every game has its downsides as well. save jesus is no exception. one of the worst parts about this game is the lack of an easy mode, as the difficulty rivals that of dark souls. another issue is the demanding system requirements. my macintosh computer at school has trouble running this game. constant crashes and it struggles to get even 10 fps. no problems on my coughcoughsuperiorcoughcough pc though. the game is magnificent, and the sheer quality is reflected in every possible aspect. the system requirements can easily be justified for such a masterpiece. in conclusion, save jesus is a fantastic AAA title that i recommend to any fans of the popular book series “the holy bible,” based on this very game. hope this review helps!
– Real player with 247.1 hrs in game
Read More: Best Cold War Illuminati Games.
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
– Real player with 163.9 hrs in game
Alien Insanity
On the first day God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten.”
So God agreed.
On the second day God created the monkey. God said, “Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.” The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?”
– Real player with 13.4 hrs in game
Read More: Best Cold War Action Games.
A Nostalgic FPS with unique features like Wormholes, Anti-Gravity and Rafts.
Recommended.
– Real player with 11.5 hrs in game
Fidget Spinner
At first glance, this game may seem as if it was made by a child. The icon seems a bit abstract, but when you look closer, you’ll understand all the hidden meanings behind this game. What they are? That’s for you to find out. I can’t ruin this surprise for any one of you. But now, I must tell you the story; one of the absolute power this game actually contains. Some say that words can’t affect you, but these words can. My daughter once had cancer. Every breath, every step, every motion was painful for her, but she still clung on to life. She was determined to beat her cancer and live on, sitting in the flower forests that she always loved to visit whenever she played with her fidget spinner. Gosh, she loved those flowers. Even now I tear up when thinking about her. I remember the day she was told that she had a year left to live. She was shocked; she thought that her fighting was enough, but it seems that it wasn’t. The cancer was too strong. However, through it all, she still prevailed, and so did her love for the simplicity of a small hand held toy, basic but passes time in a unique way. Coming across this game was a large surprise to myself, saying that I have not heard of this artistically crafted video game beforehand. But, after buying this masterpiece, I feel ashamed for not holding the passionate story line like The last of us in my possession before this point. Never before in my life have I played such diligent and thoughtful storytelling spilled out upon these pixels.The cover of this game is a beautifully hand drawn masterpiece. It is a mind baffling precursor to the extreme design of such a game. I will tell you why. After you play this game, you experience your body being cleansed from head to toe. this is only the beginning. Your sadness will go into the yawning abyss, and an extreme amount of happiness will wash over you like a wave. This game is exquisitely well coded. I look back on our many memories from back then and cry. On that last, fateful day, I held her hand close. I held it tight. Her mother couldn’t be with her, but she’s alright with just me. She left us a while ago. I can’t blame her for it; our living situation is terrible. I couldn’t stand to see her in a situation like this, and I suppose that she couldn’t stand being in it. I remember her asking me to play this game with her, with a great big smile on her face. Her grin went from ear to ear; something I barely saw anymore. I do remember tearing up. But her heart rate was slowing down. I had played it before she left me. Each level, each spinner, each breath I took gave her a smile. I remember her always wanting to play this but never getting the chance to, so I got it for her. She closed her eyes with a smile after I unlock the final spinner and closed the closed the game. A final beep, then nothing. But her heart rate decided to come back. I practically jumped out of my seat; I was surprised. I alerted the doctors right away. Was it this game? Was it this game that had brought her back? Fast forwarding to now; my daughter’s in college. She has left fidget spinner behind, but still visits it from time to time. This is her favorite game. Thank you, dear developer, for putting such care and effort into this wonderful game. I hope it continues to spread its blessings throughout time, lovingly teaching kids about the joys of a toy. I hope this game gets to those in need, and I hope the meaning behind the story will inspire them as well. And again, thank you. 3
– Real player with 4003.7 hrs in game
Ok how do I even start this review. Ok so im a EPIC DESPACITO GAMER and I gotta say after playing 24+ hours of this game I acheived true immortality. This game has completely set a new standard on how future games should look and feel. Comparing this to Skyrim and Grand Theft Auto V should not even be a discussion. This game is far superior than all of these other AAA games that are currently being released. This game is far tooooo under priced for a game on this level.
This game features revolutionary game mechanics. The atmosphere is incredibly deep to the point where it ACTUALLY makes you feel like batman. The music in this game is also top notch and I cant wait for a soundtrack to be released for this masterpeice. Another thing that makes this such a perfect game is that the graphics surpass that of Grand Theft Auto V, Fallout 4, Call of Duty Black Ops 4, ETC.
– Real player with 87.3 hrs in game
Rapid Tap
Back in the 1860’s rapid tap was not a thing back then they had to tap stones, everyone dreamed of a game…. a game where you tapped a green tile, if you didnt tap it, you lost a life, but no one made such a game, no one could it was to powerful of a thing to make, everyone who tried died trying, it was a mess.
But then a god came from the skies, his name was Wolfborg he started coding and suddenly everyones dream came true, rapid tap… rapid tap was a GAME!!!!! you could download it on mobile and it became a hit game!!!! but then people were still like, this is not enough, i cant play it on steam, i want to play it on steam,
– Real player with 185.5 hrs in game
–-{Graphics}—
? You forget what reality is
? Beautiful
? Good
? Decent
? Bad
X Don‘t look too long at it
? Paint.exe
—{Gameplay}—
? Addictive like heroin
? Very good
? Good
X It‘s just gameplay
? Mehh
? Starring at walls is better
? Just don‘t
—{Audio}—
? Eargasm
? Very good
? Good
X Not too bad
? Bad
? Earrape
—{Audience}—
X Kids
X Teens
X Adults
—{PC Requirements}—
X Check if you can run paint
? Potato
? Decent
? Fast
? Rich boiiiiii
? Ask NASA if they have a spare computer
– Real player with 0.7 hrs in game
Calm Down, Stalin
Lazy Review at the bottom
Gameplay
The goal in this game is to survive until the time limit. Your stress gradually rises, but is furthered by factors like flies, lamp flickers, and phone ringing. As your stress builds, your hands shake worse, thus making you more vulnerable to push the button. This progressively gets harder as the game continues
The button
The goal of the game is to survive, right? You automatically lose the game if you push the big red button on your desk, or let the clock reach 12. The clock quickly ticks towards 12, unless you hold your hand right above the button. This threat of war makes the clock go back to the 1.
– Real player with 207.5 hrs in game
in endless mode you should have it so you pick what things you want at the time and pick how frequent it is. ex:you pick how many times you can use vodka or how often phone rings. but make it that if you want the score on the leaderboard you cant edit anything.i know this is is a very (VERY) new game but please consider this request.And to anyone who thinks they want to buy the game i completely reccomend it, its fun and challenging.One of the best games ive seen this year(srry this is so long)
– Real player with 12.4 hrs in game
Rage Wars
Let me start by saying you would be hard pressed to find a game as good as rage wars out there on the market right now. The only thing that can even come close is The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and even then it’s still a clear second place. This game has consumed my life and I know for a fact that it will consume yours if you give it a chance.
Pros:
Cheap- The 1 dollar price tag is nothing. That’s the cost of a hamburger from mcdonalds. Needless to say you CAN afford this game.
Visuals- The visuals offered by this game are nothing short of stunning. From the city to the park, and even the school. They’re sure to immerse you in the world of rage comics.
– Real player with 1232.0 hrs in game
Make game about old internet memes
Wait a few years
Trollface becomes popular again
Wait for Steam to introduce point shop
Add trollface emote to point shop
They need to buy your game to get the emote
They buy it for the trollface
NOVEMBER 18, 2016 - THE “I DID IT FOR THE TROLLFACE” INCIDENT
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– Real player with 12.4 hrs in game
Rogue Warrior
IN A WORD: MAYBE
IN SHORT:
SIMILAR GAMEPLAY TO: Zombie Parking, Older FPSs
WHAT TO EXPECT: Short campaign. Dated, stiff, unexciting gameplay. Basic graphics. Functional AI enemies. Mickey Rourke voice-over. Difficulty establishing multiplayer session.
ACHIEVEMENTS: COMPLETABLE.
STATUS: COMPLETE.
WHEN TO BUY: AVOID. Unless bad & corny is your thing!
More info below….
THE LOWDOWN:
Rogue Warrior is an old-skool corridor shooter with limited cover mechanics and minor stealth elements. Your objective is to one-man Rambo; an eight mission campaign, set in the Peoples Republic of North Korea. Choose to kill by stealth but be seen and its time for gun-toting action. The campaign is single-player but it has a multi-player arena style deathmatch with a few maps.
– Real player with 38.6 hrs in game
Rogue Warrior is horrible. Beyond Mickey Rourke’s hilarious voice acting, this game is linear, poorly programmed, and very shallow. Now, that’s not to say that it’s not at least an enjoyable experience, but you need to know what you’re getting into before you buy it, for hopefully a price below $10.
I beat the game in under 3 hours, and that was with me being killed many times in certain levels. The enemies are extremely repetetive, and pose no challenge unless they gang up on you. Dick (protagonist) moves around like a tank. The “stealth” aspect of this game is laughably broken. You can run up to every enemy, making as much noise as you want and kill them with a prompt that appears on the screen. The sound broke for me towards the end, which ruined the ending cutscenes. Grenades rarely ever work in this game, they’re pitiful. The grenade launcher is also a piece of garbage and may kill you more often than save you. Weapon selection is extremely limited. The levels design is boring and, again, very linear.
– Real player with 19.4 hrs in game
Soda Drinker Pro
This is the single greatest video game I have ever played.
This is NOT just a video game, it is an experience and has impacted my lifestyle for the better. Previously I would only play multiplayer games with my friends but ever since I’ve played this game, I’ve abandoned all of them. I don’t need any of them to enjoy this. Every level is a completely new experience, and I don’t know where my life would be without it. Every moment that I’m not playing this game is a moment wasted.
– Real player with 292.2 hrs in game
I’m not quite sure how to feel about this game. In terms of the base game, Soda Drinker Pro, it got a bit of amusement out of me. I even played about half the levels before deciding that was all I was going to get out of it. The weird music in the background accompanied by the strange comments continued to crack me up even as I was in some of the last levels I played. But the majority of the time I spent in this game wasn’t in Soda Drinker Pro. The “hidden game” is what I found interesting, but it’s hard to actually recommend it to someone else. I personally find discovering the logic in the initial chaos of starting it interesting, and seeing all the puzzle pieces come together as you find out what you’re supposed to be doing and how to do it was exciting, to me at least. However, I can’t say that the game is very good. Pretty much the only thing that kept me going was the question of what weird things I would see next. The gameplay can be floaty, loose, and confusing. But if you’re like me and enjoy seeing all this weird stuff just for the sake of seeing it, I would recommend this game. Or, you know, you could buy it for the memes.
– Real player with 18.7 hrs in game
Bad Rats Show
I got this game while I was in still living with my roommate, Joey. He was a bit of a spazz, due to his autism but, my cousin was like that and I could deal. We lived together for about 2 years, and nothing really went wrong. He did fine, socially, and so did I. On like the last day I was gonna be living there, in a drunken haze with a few of my friends that we decided to do a really shitty prank of sorts on him. Basically, my friend Rashawn had a rat infestation go on and he decided to save the rat corpses to just throw them on someone and we decided it would be funny to do it then on Joey. Joey was out doing some project or just chilling with friends, idk. He’d usually just chill with the people in art school. We just hid in the house, he got home a bit earlier than usual so we had to improvise and just hide in a closet or two and wait for him to get to his room and spring our trap. After waitin a bit, we came out of the closet to see him playing some game on the computer, it was perfect. We crept forward and just dumped the rats on him, then proceded to jump around screaming “WAKA FLOCKA, WAKA FLOCKA, WAKA FLOCKA, WAKA FLOCKA, WAKA FLOCKA FLAME BRIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKKKKSQQQQQQQUAAAAAAAAADDDDDD.”
– Real player with 26.0 hrs in game
I’m sure if you’ve looking at this particular store page you have already know that Bad Rats Show is in fact a very bad game. You’ve looked at all the people who have played it for 20 minutes and had a nice chuckle at all the funny anecdotes on how broken and ugly this game is.
This review however will be in fact an actual review of this game judging it’s merits and faults.
For those unaware of the history of this franchise Bad Rats is a notorious game on Steam that became the joke of many users. Often during Steam Sales or even at full price people will buy this game in bulk and send to all there friends as a “gift”. Of course anyone who would actually play Bad Rats will almost immediately realize the extremely low quality, terrible performance and awful graphics. Now because of the huge amounts of sales this game have gain due to this little inside joke the developers of Bad Rats decided to bless us with it’s sequel: Bad Rats Show.
– Real player with 16.7 hrs in game