Deported 2: Build That Wall

Deported 2: Build That Wall

Agent Grump is back, and ready to fight the endless battle against those forces trying to flood earth with illegal space aliens. This time, Agent Grump’s nemesis has grown even stronger, and it is up to you to help him carry out his mission to BUILD THAT WALL, and Make Earth Great Again. Like it’s predecessor, it is packed with contemporary political satire, it’s easy to learn and fun to play. Not for the easily butthurt.

Real player with 1.4 hrs in game


Read More: Best Action Roguelike Comedy Games.


I’ve been wracking my brain for about 2 weeks tring to figure out how to review the game without simply saying “it’s more of the same” (that’s lazy), however that does seem to be the fact of the matter. Level progression (enemy types are the same; speed goblins at level 2, the seekers, the diehards, etc) are about the same as the first one but the map layouts are different. So rest assured that you’re not playing the same game twice. Still a short game that can be completed in under an hour. I still find the comedy still enjoyable, with the game’s story continuing the narrative of political satire that surrounds Ronald J Grump and Killary and the hilarity that ensued from 2016.

Real player with 1.3 hrs in game

Deported 2: Build That Wall on Steam

The Chronicles of Quiver Dick

The Chronicles of Quiver Dick

You had my attention with the crazy name, but when I saw myself on that store page screenshot I was sold!

(Haha, so in all seriousness, anyone reading this will probably assume I have a biased opinion, considering the developers decided to toss me in their game. Fuck that though! I’m gonna be honest as fuck!)

First off, let me say this is a very short game. Shorter than ‘MaP’ (Metal as Phuk) but that’s kind of the point. It’s a quick and comfy adventure. Flooded with dialogue that eminates some (sweet, sweet) low-brow humour. Sometimes it’s great, and sometimes it falls flat; which leaves you waiting to move on to the next joke. It’s kind of like SNL in a way.

Real player with 7.3 hrs in game


Read More: Best Action Roguelike JRPG Games.


UPDATE: I have changed my review to negative, which is unfortunate. The developer has been proven to be a deplorable human being, and one that cannot be trusted. Do not support them. The game was fun, sure, but I’m not supporting this person anymore.

I, too, hope they cast a substantially less racist version of Mel Gibson in the movie about MY life. Guess I’ll have to settle for an awesome cameo in this game. (Seriously!)

And, while I have a cameo, I won’t let it affect my review of the game. I played and beat this in a single setting (took about 3 hours) and laughed so hard my throat still hurts. The game’s humor is crass, and in your face often, but it never feels overstated, nor does it seem ham-fisted. The pacing is well done throughout, and when a joke seems like it might be wearing out its welcome, it ends.

Real player with 4.0 hrs in game

The Chronicles of Quiver Dick on Steam

Queen of Zarkov

Queen of Zarkov

Ill start with… this game needs work. I don’t bash any developers for making games as i know it takes alot of time and effort. Just going to leave an honest review.

Within a span of 40 or so minutes logged on this game, the menu and inventory interfaces work maybe half the time. Not being able to navigate or do anything at all on them. There is no guidance or map to show you or tell you were to go to start missions or what everything is inside the castle (FOB). The ADS system in the game is… horrid. The weapon reticle does not appear 9/10 times, so you are quite literally blind firing majority of the time wasting ammo that you barely have. The motion upon aiming is very laggy to say the least, just very difficult to manage. EVERY single enemy gives you bleed damage so you are suffering a very high amount of tick damage and the only way to remedy this is with a bandage or you die rather quickly. So enemies dont have a chance to proc bleed damage they just give it to you outright every single time. The enemies…. the little brown flea, tick, horseshoe crab, or trilobite, no matter how far away that little ankle biting piece of **** is… you get hit no matter what if you shoot it. My first run through i ran out of everything i had… and all i heard was a beeping noise. Im walking and walking then all of a sudden i get blown up by an invisible IED in the ground… in a concrete floor area inside of a meth house… needless to say i almost went deaf and nearly knocked all my **** off my desk because i was so surprised and pissed all at the same time. Every run after that i just bled to death like it was a very hellacious menstrual cycle. Over all in my opinion the state it is in now it is unplayable to me unfortunately.

Real player with 0.3 hrs in game


Read More: Best Action Roguelike Third-Person Shooter Games.


Queen of Zarkov on Steam

Troubled Passage

Troubled Passage

Troubled Passage is a Roguelike ARPG with a very peculiar combat system based on mouse swipes. This system allows for some interesting combat encounters that feel more engaging and rewarding. The mouse is an extension of your sword.

You are set to travel across five regions and reach an old port. There you will take a ship that will take you far away. That’s all you know for now. But beware, these lands are filled with undead creatures, traps and other nasty travelers. You should always be careful, even if you decide to share the road with a companion.

Character Creation

Choose your character appearance and select a trade. Trades are like character classes that defines with which types of weapons and types of damage your character is proficient with, gaining a buff when using that type of weapon.

Combat

Attacks are performed by swiping your mouse in a certain direction (up, down left or right). These swipes will trigger the combat skill that you have assigned to that direction.

There are multiple skills to learn throughout the game for each type of combat:

Unarmed

Onehanded

Twohanded (skills are missing at this point of development)

Bow (skills are missing at this point of development)

Loot

Troubled Passage loot system is built on the idea that “if they have it, you can have it”. No longer will you get disappointed if a heavy-armored-cool-looking enemy only dropped a knife and an apple. You want that armor! Well, good news! In Troubled Passage, enemies will drop exactly what they are wearing (stats included). You can strip your enemies of everything and claim it for yourself. This means strong enemies equals strong loot.

Companions

From time to time, you will encounter recruitable companions that can help you in your quest. They may be expensive, but they are a great help in dealing with enemies. All companions are randomly generated, and so are their motives.

Rivalries

Companions react to your attitude towards them. If they get mad at you, they can become your rivals and appear later on to seek revenge as a mini-boss battle.

Traders

Visit traders to buy and sell items. Blacksmiths will even allow you to forge your own weapon from a list of components and manage the weapon stats.

Random Levels

To ensure that each playthrough feels different, levels are randomly generated. So there are new areas to explore each time you play, and loot is distributed at random. There are still some “static” levels in terms of layout due to workload, but later they will all be fully random.

Troubled Passage on Steam

Deported: Drain the Swamp

Deported: Drain the Swamp

It’s difficult for me to write an unbiased review, any games from Crankage Games are worth it just for the dialogues alone. Heck I’d play this just to read the cutscenes' lines. If you’ve played anything from Crankage Games before, you know what to expect. If you haven’t, what are you waiting for? They’re fun and they’re cheap.

This one is an arcade, old school gameplay. If you like a fun game without pretensions, just something fast and fun to play, give Deported a shot.

Real player with 3.4 hrs in game

Today on my way home from work i stopped into a petrol station and snagged myself a chocolate bar for £1.15. I ate it in the car in just under 4 minutes, i enjoyed it. It probably did not do me any good but in the long term it wont have done me any harm.

When i got home i snagged a copy of Deported: Drain the swamp for 79p, i finished it in about half an hour. much better value than chocolate, and it was funny so it might of helped shed the choclate from my belly due to the light exercise of laughing.

Real player with 2.9 hrs in game

Deported: Drain the Swamp on Steam