Progress Bar Simulator

Progress Bar Simulator

5 Minutes “gameplay” but 1000 hours of grinding. There is really no reason to buy this game, since you’re ending up with using autoclickers or some idiotic shit like that anyway at some point.

I get it, this game is a joke. But there is nothing clever about it. No stunning secret or anything that would surprise you. It’s literally just hammering the keyboard to watch loading screens. In fact, it’s a mess. Except for the idea of having loading screens there is not even ONE good idea that went into this game. It’s trash and a waste of time, nothing else.

Real player with 42.2 hrs in game


Read More: Best Abstract Simulation Games.


This is a bit of an oddball of a game. The game itself is pressing a button to increment through various historical loading bar screens. If you were born before 1990 you’ll recognize most of them. But to me, past the novelty of running through the progress bars a few times, most of the “game” is meta in order to get the achievements. I ended up using AHK to complete several. Some were through figuring out the console commands or other in-game tricks.

Ultimately I was torn how to rate this game, and gave a thumbs up, but barely. If you were born after 1990, you won’t get half the progress bars most likely, and the game won’t mean as much to you.

Real player with 24.0 hrs in game

Progress Bar Simulator on Steam

M.E.M.E.S.

M.E.M.E.S.

FUCKING BEST GAME if u like undertale at all like at all then buy this its cheap and u can play for ever so FUCKING BUY IT

Real player with 21.6 hrs in game


Read More: Best Abstract RPG Games.


So Bad its good again

Real player with 1.3 hrs in game

M.E.M.E.S. on Steam

Life Goals

Life Goals

Learn everthing you want to learn. And don’t forget about the rest. Overcome all obstacles. Reach your Life Goals. Make stuff. Survive in history. Make yourself truly exist.

This is a game about life. And because life is already complex enough, and games are getting harder to make, let’s make it simpler and project everything onto one dimension.

In 1D, choices seem simpler, but it does not make life much easier.

1. Move with left/right

2. Reach your goal to gain weight and bypass

3. Push lighter obstacles

4. Break lighter obstacles

5. Bypass anything

6. If you are stuck, hold space to start fresh

Disclaimer:

If you don’t have time to waste, please don’t play this game, it would just make you hate me.

Features:

  • Explore your own story in Single Player

  • Experience emergent social behavior in Networked Multiplayer

  • State of the art 1D graphics


Read More: Best Abstract Minimalist Games.


Life Goals on Steam

mario

mario

██████████████▒▒

████▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██▒▒ 𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝓉𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎..

██▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒██ 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓶𝓮

█▒▒░░▒▒▒▒▒░░▒▒██ –————————————————–

█░░▒▒██░░░██▒▒██ 𝕓𝕦𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕘𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕠𝕣 𝕖𝕝𝕤𝕖 𝕦 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕕𝕚𝕖 𝕚𝕣𝕝

▒▒▒░░██░░░██▒▒▒▒ 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕒 𝕝𝕖𝕘𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥

██▒▒▒░░░░░░░▒▒██ 𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕠𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕚 𝕕𝕠𝕟’𝕥 𝕘𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕒 𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜

█████░░░░░░█████ —————————————————-

Real player with 32.5 hrs in game

Serious review alert, no memes here.

This game is a hilarious action platformer and is genuinely really great, it’s definitely one of the funniest games I’ve ever played but also has challenging and fun gameplay, though it’s a bit unpolished and frustrating at times.

There’s a lot of small bugs I encountered, but they were mostly just funny to see and didn’t really get in the way (a boss once froze in place and just let me kill them, moving platforms act strange when you go at them from the wrong side, and other even smaller things). There’s also a lot of framerate issues stemming from the lack of optimization, but it’s mostly just during cutscenes and doesn’t inhibit gameplay too much.

Real player with 9.9 hrs in game

mario on Steam

Beer!

Beer!

I forgot to close the game once I swear. The fact that I’m Czech doesn’t really help my case, does it…

Real player with 30.8 hrs in game

Would highly recommend this product. It has brought countless hours of fun and good times with friends and family. I LOVE BEER!

Real player with 6.8 hrs in game

Beer! on Steam

Bro, where’s My head???

Bro, where’s My head???

If you have ever played Zup & Oik series then you are not missing much. It’s basically the same concept. Although I do think this is an easier version of that game. It is a good place to start if you feel that some levels of “Zup & Oik” are sometimes hard to complete.

I recommend it to people who are starting out in these types of puzzle games and need time to adjust to the dynamic of the plays.

Overall, not a bad one in the bunch and a game that just about anybody can play.

5.8/10

Real player with 27.6 hrs in game

Some people and myself included are problably fine with the fact that this game is a “Chocolate makes you happy” or even “Next” rip off in a way.

Despite the fact that it’s actually a pretty darn good one! It runs fine and it has a fun art style!

Many may not think so but looking past how simple “Bro where’s my head??” may be to some, you see complexity and creativity above all.

The road to victory presented in each level requires players to employ basic problem solving skills and rudimentary thinking.

Real player with 24.0 hrs in game

Bro, where's My head??? on Steam

CubeHub

CubeHub

This is a collection of mini-games based on innovative game mechanics and parodying famous games and other works of modern culture with its help. This is a physics challenge with puzzle elements.

Gameplay

At the game level are various figures. Your goal: to put the figures so that they intersect certain parts. The game marks these parts with a pink color.

Using the keyboard, you control one of the figures: rotation, movement back and forth. You can push other figures.

Some figures may have AI and move independently of the player. Some figures can “shoot” cubes, they push the figures too.

At different levels, different settings for gravity and destructibility of the environment.

Game features

  • Many figures of different shapes and colors.

  • Tutorial levels.

  • Different game levels. From simple and funny to very complex, from which you will break the keyboard and your nerves.

  • The game develops attentiveness, precision of movements, intelligence and a sense of rhythm.

  • This is a fun game for the whole family. Play it with your friends, parents, children, grandparents. Play it at work so that your boss can see that you are increasing your intellectual level and become more useful for the company.

CubeHub on Steam

REALITY

REALITY

VERY funny game!! Love playing it, love the jokes and the tragic/funny backstories you get to know of new AND old characters! Definitely funnier than I L L U S I O N imo. worth buying and playing thru!

Real player with 9.7 hrs in game

  • crazy characters with an equally crazy story

-Corona can be shot with a gun

-an fabulous cockroach

What more do you want?

Real player with 4.9 hrs in game

REALITY on Steam

Gordon Streaman

Gordon Streaman

I SPENT 4 FUCKING HOURS TRYING TO GET THE CAR

Real player with 10.1 hrs in game

I don’t even know how to play it..

Real player with 4.8 hrs in game

Gordon Streaman on Steam

Bitardia

Bitardia

This game… it’s the gud stuff. I couldn’t reccomend it enough.

Pro’s:

Funny (for some)

Enjoyable with a story that lasts from just under an hour to more then that (depends on how much you die and lose money, forcing you to do side quests)

Somewhat large open world to explore and talk to some AI

Con’s:

All in Russian, minus the captions.

Slow updates (I believe it’s made by one guy after all)

Plenty of glitches (though they can sometimes be funny honestly)

I reccomend you should play it, at the very least to spend the last five dollars of your Steam gift card.

Real player with 14.7 hrs in game

OMG! overNineHundred/10!

This game consists of a whole bunch of lulz! Slang, Gaben, a concrete mixer, drugs, despair, revolution, Snoop Dogg and 2D girls… Surprisingly, but I haven’t seen any bugs! It needs more quests, good optimization (long loadings really make me mad) to be better than GTA.

However, I think the game’s hardly interesting for people who knows neither Russian memes nor the culture of Russian imageboards.

Also you can get all achievements without any problems. And trading cards are expensive now.

Real player with 13.7 hrs in game

Bitardia on Steam